Is this really happening? Did I just really dial that phone number? Even though I am 100% sure I want children, this all feels really weird. I have read other posts from women who have gone down this road and I felt validated that my feelings were completely normal. We all felt like this was not our #1 choice, but if we were going to achieve our dreams of becoming mothers, it was now or never. Thinking of my friends who have had unplanned pregnancies, I know each and every one of them would not change what happened to them. They had different plans for life too, but life happened and they didn't regret it for one second! Once they held their own child, the thought of that child not being in their life is hard to imagine. I know this is how I will feel, but now there are so many unknowns. I imagine with the fertility in my family that I will be pregnant the first try, but I have prepared myself not to have that much success, so I won't be disappointed. Only time will tell.
The women on the other end answered the phone. Yikes. I begin to talk. Who is that talking? It sounds like me....this is really happening. The hardest part of this journey was accepting the path I was ready to take and making that first phone call. My friend Sharon asked if she could join me at my initial appointment and I gladly accepted! Thankfully, because even though you are listening to every word the nurse practitioner is saying, you are so overwhelmed with information that you cannot possibly remember everything. A week later I was still texting Sharon with questions that she was easily able to answer! My lady friends rock my world!!!!
After the appointment there was much to do. Firstly, I needed to get ALL sorts of tests to see what my chances were of getting pregnant. To my delight, and to the envy of all women with fertility challenges, I had 15 healthy follicles. I am a great candidate for IUI. My hormone levels were above what they needed to be and as usual, I felt smug as I am typically an overachiever. It brought me back to my grad school days when I strove for straight A's....successfully (except for that darn A-, Amy!!!) Part of me felt this incredible relief, as the other part of me thought of my sister-in-law and other friends who would smile and be happy for me, but perhaps may want to punch me right in the eye for my great fertility(though I am realistic...I haven't actually gotten pregnant yet!) I made myself a promise that I would not gloat, only to myself. :)
Next step, choosing a donor......
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